Family Rammy Runner Up, Writing Rammy 2022

The White Bird by Kerry Foster

The White Bird

You make your own luck – that was what my mother always said.

She meant by discipline and hard work. Making prudent choices. Not this…coming to Paris on my own as a woman in my forties with nothing but a trunkful of books and faded vintage gowns.

And yet here, in this nondescript café opposite the Gare St Lazare, I do feel lucky, for the first time in my life. I have my own tiny room, six floors up, with a view of the Eiffel Tower. A room that is my own, a room where I can think.

I love the café too, L’Oiseau Blanc or White Bird, after a doomed transatlantic flight in which the two French pilots ‘vanished like midnight ghosts’. It has red leather seats and dirty tallow walls, the Art Nouveau aviation prints sprawling between the specials boards making it look tired and racy at the same time.  

Most importantly, I don’t have to answer to anyone. No one looks askance at my beloved silk dresses, or asks about my family, or wonders why I don’t wear a wedding ring. I can devour all the books I want, make endless lists, replay conversations that happened, invent ones that didn’t.  

But that was me all over, according to my mother. Peculiar, for want of a better word. With questionable social skills. And a CV that was a carefully woven blend of delusion and out-and-out fantasy.

I was also a bad example to Clara, she said. No wonder my daughter had dreamed her way through school. Now she was eking out a living as an artist on the south coast, selling her strange luminous paintings at craft fairs and exhibitions.

And then there was Mark. In him, I had seen a potential soulmate, a poet, a dreamer. My mother, on the other hand, had immediately clocked him as a timewaster at best, and at worst, well… and right enough, two weeks ago, he had walked out, never to be seen again, taking my meagre savings with him. He had always been ambiguous about the future, now I came to think about it.

But if he hadn’t left, well, I wouldn’t be here now, would I? I take another sip of wine and catch sight of myself in one of the mirrored panels above the bar. I look like someone else – someone who isn’t blinkingly apologetic, someone hasn’t given up on magic or beauty.   

The door swings open, briefly filling the room with night air and the rumble of buses heading to the Opera Garnier. “Bonsoir, messieurs dames!” Another of the dinner time regulars. He nods in my direction.

I realise that the streetlamps have come on, silently bathing the purple street in pools of smoky light. Another night in Paris.

Yes, you do make your own luck, I tell myself. Starting now.

Family Rammy Winner, Writing Rammy 2022

Life on Mars Part Three by Antoinette Cherubini-Donaldson

I’m not sure why I’m trembling. I still can’t decide if I’m nervous or excited or a mixture of both. Two hours until we finally land. The journey has been a long 270 days. At least it gave us a chance to get to know each other better, laying the foundations of our futures together. I look forward to being settled into our new home in the complex and starting our new community. However, I worry about my girls and the life I have decided for them. I can take comfort at least in the knowledge that they have already made friends among the other scientist’s children. They will have no trouble settling in when we finally make it. I think Clara will be fine, her knowledge is so up to date with all the latest software that she will be a great asset to them in a year or two. I hope Becky will enjoy her school here, it will be very different to what she is used to. I hope when she is older that she decides on a place in the hydroponics lab to grow some of these plants that we worked so hard to create. I hope that after everything, I am worthy to have been chosen to come here to help feed the future of humanity. Our place on this ship secured by my work on gene editing and modified crops. Countless hours spent adding to the creation of the seed store, our precious cargo.

When the Earth got too warm to grow anything…………

I remember it on the news from when I was young – climate change and after the failure of the climate convention the Earth’s temperatures continued to rise. I found it terrifying to see my world change around me. The extreme weather events when the rivers overflowed and the forests burned. If it is broken replace it, that was our attitude. When did we stop fixing things? This is our biggest replacement, our planet, our home. The only home I have ever known. Space tourism paved the way for our exit when the Earth stopped being hospitable for us anymore.

I am sad to be leaving Ben, my younger brother, and his family on our broken planet. During our goodbyes, I told him to look up at the night sky 3.30 south of the Pleiades at the end of February and look for a red dot. …Maybe I will see a blue dot? We used to love planting daffodils in the garden when we were younger. Scary how our children have never seen a real flower growing wild.

I don’t suppose I will ever return to Earth. We need all our resources to set up the complex here on Mars. In time it is planned for more families to join us. I wonder when the first baby will be born on Mars.

I know the future will look back on us one day so let’s give them some good history.

Family Rammy Winner, Writing Rammy 2022

Life on Mars Part Two by Charlotte Donaldson

The ship is not small, but it feels cramped. Claustrophobic. Like there’s no room to exist as humans, not a collection of scientists and engineers. A living archive of data on how to build a new world.

My mother has been unhappy. She sits staring out of the ship’s windows, watching the earth fade out of view. We haven’t been able to see it for a month, and I think that upsets her.

I’m not sure how my sister Becky feels. She seemed nervous, but I’ve been seeing her less recently. I want to ask her how she is but the words dry up in my mouth before I can speak them. So I remain unsure.

I thought I’d be easier leaving if I started early. I stopped talking to people. I ate lunch in the library while pouring over textbooks, trying to take in any knowledge useful for the mission. I even gave my goldfish away.

I don’t think it helped in the end. My chest still ached when the time finally came.

But that’s the past, I have a future to think about. Mars. Humanities latest frontier.

Some people can’t wait to land, already making plans for the lives they want when the time comes. Others seem sick with the guilt of leaving our homeworld behind. While the optimists buzz with excitement, they pace the halls like ghosts. Can a place be haunted if noone’s died there?

If anyone would know, it would be me. I spend most of my time wandering this labyrinth of corridors. It used to be a distraction from the pressure of my studies, but as the numbness in my chest grew colder, I spent more of my time wandering for the sake of it.

I suppose that makes me one of this place’s ghosts. Partially still stuck on Earth where I prematurely shed my life. Maybe I thought I’d be different when takeoff came. But here I am, still me, only less. Halved. Like snakeskin crumpled in the dirt.

Part of me hopes that what I left on Earth, I can refind on Mars. Which is a stupid notion, I can’t scoff at the people treating Mars as a redo on the planet we’re leaving and then turn around and treat it as the fix-all to my problems.

I used to be like that. Hopeful. When the mission was first announced, when I was younger, I wanted to build a life on a new planet. Now I feel bitter. Why should everyone be excited when the Earth was there and we’re leaving it!?

I notice that I’ve wandered to the front of the ship, with windows that look out on the stars. I can see that red dot in the distance, a promise of a new home. A home I’ll have to make for myself.

I see Becky with a gaggle of other children she’s befriended, laughing together. Warmth sparks in my chest. Things might be okay. It’s only the future, after all.

Family Rammy Winner, Writing Rammy 2022

Life on Mars Part One by Juliet Donaldson

The day has finally arrived when we are going to Mars. Our parents could only imagine living on a different planet when they watched films about space but we have learned about this mission in school ever since I can remember. At space camp we learned all about the red planet that would be our new home. We learned about the Rover called Percy that went to Mars in 2021 to take samples when our parents were younger. We are all getting onto the Starship rocket now. A lady is showing us where we are to go. We are going to be on it for 9 months travelling to Mars. We are sharing a room with our families – I hope its not too small. We have artificial gravity on the Starship but we still must do lots of exercises to keep our bones healthy.

We are also going to be having school there. I wish my friends were coming too or at least someone I know. I hope I make some friends. I am going to be one of the first children to actually live on Mars. I am looking forward to living at the Mars camp and being on a totally different planet but it will be strange to not be allowed outside. I hope I will be a successful scientist when I am older and maybe I can return to Earth one day and try to fix it so our children can one day move back home.